I don't even know what to say, I'm so exhausted. I've held down a job for the last 6 months, which has never happened before. I've managed to pay my rent without help from my father. But I've been working like 25 hours a week for the last 6 months, in addition to the fall semester.
But the whole reason I started this was really chronicles of a craft major.... so time to chronicle. Hopefully next semester I will actually post regularly.
Let's start with glassblowing.
Glassblowing is by far one of the most bad-ass things I have ever done. I think it replaces welding, possibly for the top spot. However it is also the most frustrating thing I have ever done. It is hard. I knew it was going to be hard, but I can't express how hard it is. For the entire semester, I was frustrated with my lack of progress, frustrated with my inability to control the glass, frustrated with the artwork I was making. Everything I made for that class seemed sub-par, everything seemed like the shit I was making in my first semester of art school, only now it was made of glass. And the thing about glassblowing is that everyone automatically thinks "GLASSBLOWING!? THAT IS THE MOST AWESOME THING IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD EVER INVENTED!!" Finally, in the last two weeks or so of the class, I was finally starting to catch on, and actually be comfortable working in the studio. I was finally becoming used to the heat, used to bossing people around and relying on them to do really important aspects of my work. In the last two weeks, I was starting to think that maybe I did like glass, after all. I admitted to my teacher that I felt like I sucked and that I was intensely frustrated with the class. And he was astonished; he had no idea that I felt like I was really far behind. In fact, he told me that he thought that I was doing well, that even if I didn't have total control of the glass yet, I seemed to be really comfortable working with it. Of course, I felt like anything but. My slightly neurotic, slightly OCD personality does not allow me to be comfortable blowing glass. I want to have complete, total, utter control. This is why I am well suited for textiles. I can be just as crazy-detail-oriented as I want.
Worse, I couldn't ever seem to express myself in glass. Each time I had to do a piece, I would suddenly remember, "Oh yeah, this is Intro to GLASS-WORKING not crochet some sculptures. And I was never happy with the way my pieces turned out. I'm never entirely happy with how my pieces turn out, but this seemed to be to a greater degree than normal.
I should clarify my position on glassblowing, in relation to myself. Glass has amazing possibilities as a material. It can be transparent, translucent, or opaque. It can be organic, or sterile, unnatural even. It can be a lot of things. However, in my hands, glass is just frustrating. This may perhaps be that I have barely done it. But ultimately, though an amazing and rare experience, glass is not my medium. Unfortunately, most people can't seem to understand my reluctance to continue with glass. I can't explain it, really, either. By the end of the semester, I was making bottles that I was fairly happy with. But ultimately, I don't think I can feel fulfilled with making bottles for the rest of my life. I am interested in them as a vessel; I think that containers are definitely going to begin appearing as major elements in my work in the next year or two.
art school college glassblowing sculpture fall